December 2010
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Words My Phone Does Not Know: A List.
Sequins
Sequined
Fugly
Hosiery
Fucking
Tutu
Wifebeater
Bjork
Bitchassness
Cray-Cray
We’re
I’mma
My phone is such a square. We’d divorce, but he’d get half of everything, and lose all my contacts to boot.
A Gift For You!
So It’s Christmas! Well, according to Starbucks it has been Christmas for two months, but now it is totally, pretty much Christmas for real!
I could talk about my complicated relationship with the Holiday Season, but instead I am going to give you all a mix tape! That is about 1000 times more enjoyable, and more in the spirit of giving. So! A Mixtape! I also have a complicated relationship...
The (actual) DMV
Has anyone ever had a positive experience at the DMV? This trip has already turned me into one of Those People who have screaming fights, in public, on the telephone. I have possibly stamped my foot, and I definitely stormed off, which is 100% less effective if you are on the phone. I have stood in line twice, there was a lady with the most ridiculous drawn-on eyebrows —- think Jareth in...
“What are the moral, the ethical, and the spiritual conditions which entitle...”
– GEETA DAYAL — the original soundtrack
http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/12/15/mooreandme-on-dude-progressives-rape-apologism-and-the-little-guy/
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You should know by now that the best way to...
Or all over your notebooks. My middle school sneakers, covered in lyrics and band names in every color of sharpie that I could find in Office Depot, have been lost to time. But flip through the terrifying number of notebooks I have (I don’t keep a diary, that’s what my class notes are for. Also I hate throwing things away), and first you would be struck by my consistently shoddy...
New Jersey: a query
I am on the bus to New York City, and as we roll through the garden state, I realize that I have no idea what a turnpike is. It…it sounds like something incredibly painful and popular in the middle ages. Is it a synonym for highway? Is it like how freeway and highway are basically the same (they are the same, right?) ?
Inquiring minds, and all that.
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Gingerbread Lattes for the Teenage Soul
For some reason I just got a flashback to all of those “Chicken Soup for the [Demographic’s] Soul” books. I don’t remember why, but I loved the hell out of those, would read anyone I could get my hands on. Most of the time, they made me cry, not the little, tiny “oh this is sad” tears, but the type where you needed to put the book aside, and curl up on the...
Baltimore
Is still the worst. I will have to return to this city every 6 months for the rest of the foreseeable future.
Awesome.
DC is stupidly cold right now, and, while I’d love to watch everyone freakout, (But why so much wind? Wait. POSSIBLE SNOW FLURRIES?? What shall we doooo?? Snowmageddon Part 2!) but I can’t feel my face. It’s hard to laugh when your cheeks won’t move.
...
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La fin?
Done. Done with one of the most stressful quarters I’ve ever had, done with this city that I like, I really do, but we need to take a break, it’s not you it’s me, done with this tiny ass room, done learning French (sorry, I can’t do it anymore, my brain refuses to take anything else in), done, done, done.
I do not regret my time here, but I am leaving with a bag of very...
Ellen Ripley Saved My Life | The Awl →
This. This this this this 1000 times, a million times. I was weaned on sci-fi/fantasy novels with female leads, girls who had tasks to do, girls who carried swords and guns and had to save the world, and were important, and who they were kissing was much less important than who they needed to kill, and they were strong and flawed and awesome, and they became my defintion of what it was to be...
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General Thoughts on Add/Drop
So Add/Drop is like this hot chick/dude, right? And like, you’ve fucked before, actually you generally fuck like three times a year, but whatever, it’s college, whatever pulls your trigger, right? So you and Add/Drop are about to get it on (again), and you’ve done everything right, you got your shit together, follow the motions, c’mon let’s get to stepping, and then...
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