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On Leaving.
I don’t know, I learned how to be good at it? I think I talked about this weeks (or a week?) ago, but I learned to live with constantly leaving, and starting over, and expecting people to go and move on. I am sad when people leave, but I am more surprised when they stay. Is that sad? This is text book abandonment issues, and looking back on the quarter, a lot of things that I thought were exhaustion and over-scheduling, were maybe more intentional than I let myself believe.
One of my favorite songs, consistent top 5, is “The Magician” By Jason Isbell. I heard when I was much younger, and mostly liked the music and the way he sang, but there are some songs your grow into. Or maybe it grows into you. Art, life, imitation, etc. Regardless,
I am posting all of the lyrics because I can and because I want to have them somewhere where I can look at them, without ads, and try to figure out how fix myself, and if I even want to be fixed. Snap judgments for almost everything, I guess.
You watch every move
And call it slight of hand
You know, it’s what I do
But never who I am, never who I am
Started on the street
With cards and dollar bills
Shuffling my feet
But never could be still, never could be still
And I am an orphan man but ain’t we all?
I can make myself disappear
I am an orphan man but ain’t we all?
And I know there’s somewhere worse than here
I had a bride, I sawed her in half
Couple people cried
Most of them just laughed
Most of them just laughed
Well, I had a son
Strong of hand and will
I taught him how to run
But never how to steal, never how to steal
And I am an orphan man but ain’t we all?
And I can make myself reappear
I am an orphan man but ain’t we all?
And I could be somewhere worse than here
I was called amazing
And I make folks believe
With nothing in my pockets And nothing up my sleeve,
Yeah I am an orphan man but ain’t we all?
I can make myself disappear
I am an orphan man but ain’t we all?
And I know there’s somewhere worse than here
Worse than here,
Worse than here
