WHAT OF IT.
I mostly embarrassed by my terrible choreo. If Cutler wouldn’t literally laugh in my face, and then like throw a bottle of Jameson at me, my apocalypse piece would be to this song.
From a 1592 pamphlet by Elizabethan satirist Thomas Nashe, via Lists of Note.
The first is ape drunke; and he leapes, and singes, and hollowes, and danceth for the heavens;
The second is lion drunke; and he flings the pots about the house, calls his hostesse whore, breakes the glasse windowes with his dagger, and is apt to quarrell with anie man that speaks to him;
The third is swine drunke; heavie, lumpish, and sleepie, and cries for a little more drinke, and a fewe more cloathes;
The fourth is sheepe drunk; wise in his conceipt, when he cannot bring foorth a right word;
The fifth is mawdlen drunke; when a fellowe will weepe for kindnes in the midst of ale, and kisse you, saying, “By God, captaine, I love thee. Goe thy wayes; thou dost not thinke so often of me as I doo thee; I would (if it pleased God) I could not love thee as well as I doo;” and then he puts his finger in his eye, and cryes;
The sixt is Martin drunke; when a man is drunke, and drinkes himselfe sober ere he stirre;
The seventh is goate drunke; when, in his drunkennes, he hath no minde but on lecherie;
The eighth is fox drunke—when he is craftie drunke, as manie of the Dutchmen bee, that will never bargaine but when they are drunke.
I offered my couch to people who’s apartement was on fire as I walked home, and they said they had something else and I was relieved BUT I AM STILL A HERO, and I got my friend her lost scarf, even though it was the wrong scarf and I kept it instead of giving it to her because it was not her scarf , but I IT WAS A LOST SCARF AND NOW IT IS (can be) FOUND (in my scarf drawer).
It was a party on the 37th (!) floor of a swanky apartment complex, and the DJ did not play Beyonce’s “Countdown,” so nothing is my fault, I recuse myself from everything.
from Pilsen to Hyde Park. Everyone (EVERYONE) owe me a drink. EVERYONE.
At one point, everyone in the car cheered as the last of the snow fell off the back of the car in front of us. It was the happiest we had been in HOURS.
Via the Hairpin.
Guess what’s for dinner you guys?
ex-tempore replied to your post: Question/Poll For Science! (Not Actually Scientific)
Wouldn’t have thought! Let’s have a party?
I mean, also this “poll” was clearly a call for everyone to get together and have like a gin tasting (read: just drink a lot of gin), and “contemplate” it (read: continue drinking gin).
So, yes, duh.
But then you close your eyes and you have the spins so, uh, I guess you’re still drunk.
Just me? Just me.
They watch The Graduate on Netflix Instant Play. Oh man, Simon and Garfunkel (I have already used this space to proclaim my love for Paul Simon, yes I have his new album, what short of woman do you take me for?), and also that last scene. Oof. Anne Bancroft is a FOX.
Then Molly and I lost all of our street cred by watching this TERRIBLE/HILARIOUS Australian TV show about some girls who turn into mermaids. But are like supre chill about it? Like, they are not okay with it, but American teen dramas have led me to believe that it’s not a huge deal if no one starts crying/is shot/ dies immediately, so like, they took it super well. And part of being a mermaid means not having your hair down, so I was like “….where do the ponytail holders go? Do you get them back? That shit can get expensive, I don’t want to lose all of my ponytail holders.” I am going to watch every episode of this show, sorry Dr. Who, you have been replaced by Australian mermaid teens.
Note: There was some wine involved.
Then we watched Wizards of Waverley Place, because, duh. All I have to say is SUBURBAN OUTFITTERS.
This is going to be an ab-fab summer.
WE ARE NOW LOOKING AT PUPPY PHOTOS, THERE IS CHAMPAGNE AND RAMEN. I KNOW YOU ARE JEALOUS, I WOULD BE TOO.
By far
