Every 4th of July, PBS hosts “A Capitol Fourth” (wordplay!) the big celebration for our country’s birthday, hosted in its lovely capitol city on the National Mall.
*IMPORTANT DC FACT*
The National Mall, or The Mall, is not a shopping mall! It is the large green strip of land in downtown DC that hosts all of the fancy memorials and free (FREE!) national museums. Also Congress is there. But what’s most important, is that the Mall is great for Frisbee, if you’re into that.
There’s lots of singing, fireworks, cannons and other displays of impressive military force. And cheesy jokes aplenty.
On July 3rd, A Capitol Fourth has its dress rehearsal. This is also free and open to the public. It is also less crowded. I went this year and it was pretty fun! Gladys Knight wasn’t there, so that disappointed a lot of people (Read: the black families in attendance, especially mine). Her stand-in was a white lady who couldn’t dance, so that was funny. Our host for the night was the guy who was President on West Wing, after the first guy stopped being President. He is famous? David Archuleta did a very nice job with the national anthem. He really needs to get a hair cut. Reba Mcentire was awesome, the end.
People have been setting off fireworks for the past three days. They will not stop until every goddamn firework in the city has been set off, which will take until Tuesday I imagine. It sounds eerily similar to gunfire, and I’m sure I could make some sort of “Murder City” joke, but I won’t, mostly because I have new meds that make me the sleepiest.
I did sing along to “I’m Proud To Be an American,” because I am, and everyone who is should be. We’re [Americans] really fucking lucky to be citizens of this nation, and for every single complaint we make, however justified, we need to remember all the reasons that living in this country makes us some of the most privileged motherfuckers on the weirdass rock we call the earth.
The American Dream may be messed up as hell, and this country was built on a foundation that we shouldn’t be 100% proud of, but goddamn if we haven’t done some cool ass shit. And the Constitution is kind of the best legal document, and our Founding Fathers deserve a high-five, even the shitty racist ones. Maybe they get a low-five, or a fist bump.